Wherever you’re at in your life right now, if you just know that things aren’t quite aligned for you, or you don’t feel fully satisfied with how you show up in the world, it can feel really overwhelming to even think about what to do about that.
Like, where do you even go from here?
(This post was originally posted on www.bymelissaclaire.com on November 1, 2023.)
You know where you are right now, but you may not know where you want to get to. And starting a journey without knowing the destination can seem downright illogical.
So, rather than thinking about a specific destination, I want you to adopt the objective of simply learning more about the destination.
If the goal is full self-expression – more honest expression of your SELF – then you need to start with figuring out what full expression of your Self actually means.
The goal is learning. It’s exploring. It’s uncovering. It’s trial and more trial. It’s experimentation.
And ultimately, there are three components of this process: Self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and self-trust.
1. Self-knowledge
Seeking greater self-knowledge is really about testing the assumption that you already know exactly who you are and who you’re here to be. If you really knew, there wouldn’t be that nagging feeling of misalignment.
So, we question everything. We thoughtfully test our comfort zones and ideas about our own identities.
We dive into even minor curiosities to try on different ways of being or expressing ourselves to see what really fits.
We go through the closets of our lives and decide what still works, what needs to go, and what we want to add. It’s a closet revamp for our identities and expression.
2. Self-acceptance
Getting closer to full expression means accepting and embracing what we uncover with our experimentation.
If we can’t accept what we learn and come to know about ourselves, we can’t fully express that aspect of ourselves. We can’t integrate or bring that part of our being into alignment if we are opposing or resisting it on some level.
3. Self-trust
Self-trust is really key to this whole experience. First, we need to trust ourselves enough to even begin the process of questioning and experimenting.
Second, we need to trust the nudges we get from our SELF (our Guiding Self, inner wisdom, soul, etc.). We have to trust that part of ourselves and trust the breadcrumbs and hints we receive along the way. This is our intuition pointing us in the direction of becoming who we’re here to be (fully), and of unbecoming all that is not us.
Third, we need to be able to trust that we can handle anything that comes up. This might be personal/internal things like self-doubt, fear, or worry. Or, it could be judgement from others, including people really close to us.
People in our lives, or even on the internet, may not understand or agree with how we start showing up differently. We need to be able to trust ourselves to get through that, to trust that it’s worth it – that WE are worth it, that committing to who we came here to be is worth it.
Trust that you can do difficult and scary things. Because you can.
A practice to help you through the process
I’ve found self-portraits to be an incredible practice for working through this process on an incredibly physical and tangible level.
I created a course to guide you into self-portraits as a medium for liberating your full expression.
In the course, we go through setting up your first self-portrait session and using this experience for deeper self-reflection and exploration.
I’ve also created a Patreon community for ongoing support, and I’d love to have you join the growing community.
See you there!