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“I just want to feel sexy.”

“I just want to feel sexy.”

Have you thought this before?

You don’t need anyone else to believe you’re sexy in order to exude sexiness.

You don’t need to wait for others to agree that, yes, you’re sexy.

You can decide and show up in that knowing.

I had a partner tell me that he gets flustered (in the best way 😈) when I show up KNOWING I’m sexy, existing in my own version of sexiness.

Others seeing me doesn’t “confirm” my sexiness. I simply invite them to witness what I’ve already accepted within myself.


“I feel sexy,” I say, with everything but words. “Would you like to witness this? Would you like to experience it with me?”

Whether it’s a yes or no has no bearing on the truth that exists within me.

And whether I express (or invite anyone to witness) my sexiness or not has no bearing on my value as a human.

I didn’t always know this truth.

That “sexy” is MINE to define and express as I choose.

Or that I had value outside of this. In tandem.

I had to learn and unlearn over and over. Become and unbecome again and again (oh hi, Scorpio rising ♏).

Wanting to feel sexy means you know you can. You know it’s possible. You know the truth of all aspects of your expression is available to you.

So you seek it.

And eventually, you remember.

Do you want to embrace and express your own sexiness?

If feeling sexy is something you do want (and it’s perfectly okay if you don’t), noticing when you feel sexy and identifying what’s contributing to that can help you start tapping into it more.

You do NOT need anything external to tap into your own sexiness or to exude it; however, external things can help us get into the feeling or simply reflect our internal feelings outwardly.

For example, if I’m already feeling sexy or want to encourage that feeling in myself, red lipstick definitely helps! It’s an external reflection of an internal choice. And it’s all based on what I feel and want for myself, not anyone else.

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About Melissa

About Melissa

Melissa is a self-portrait photographer and content creator on a mission to help 1,000 women+ liberate their full soul & self-expression through self-portraits as embodied self-observation.

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Self-exploration through self-portraits (November 2021)
It’s not about poses or photos (Founding Essay)

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Melissa, self-portrait photographer & self-expression coach

I'm a boudoir and self-portrait artist showing you how to use self-portrait photography as a tool for exploration, embodied self-reflection, and liberated self-expression.

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