When I was 24, I was working part-time at a grocery store while I finished my master’s degree. After I graduated, I kept the job while I searched for a better job (and/or an opportunity to travel). It was in this job, in that uniform, that a man asked me for my number. He had kind eyes and seemed genuine. He had a sweet smile. So I gave him my number.
(This post was originally posted on my other website, www.bymelissaclaire.com, in January 2023.)
After meeting him for coffee, he called me to tell me how much he enjoyed meeting me and to ask me on another date. I was flattered and said yes. The next date was days away. I was trying not to have any preconceived notions, but thoughts were creeping in – and not the kind you’d expect.
But I couldn’t articulate these thoughts yet. These thoughts came as feelings. I couldn’t make sense of them though.The day of the date finally arrived, and I woke up feeling ill. I felt hot, I wanted to vomit. I thought it might go away, but it didn’t. So I messaged this nice guy to cancel.
And you know what? I immediately felt better. No lie. The sick feeling disappeared. That’s when I realized that my body was trying to tell me something the entire time, and I hadn’t been listening.
I realized that I hadn’t wanted to go on that second date at all. But he was nice and the conversation was pretty good, so I went along with it because there was no “obvious” reason why I shouldn’t. I couldn’t admit to myself what I really wanted – or what I didn’t want.
While I recognized that my body had been telling me something through this experience, I didn’t yet fully understand the link between an embodied experience and intuition.
I went on to have multiple similar experiences.
- While working in an office job, I’d occasionally feel ill after waking up to my alarm to get ready for work. I’d call in sick and instantly feel better. I just took this as a sign that I needed a rest / mental health day.
- I “randomly” developed a rash on my chest, and after doing some self-reflection, realized how much anxiety I was feeling. Once I acknowledged the anxiety and journaled through my thoughts and feelings, the rash disappeared (by the next morning).
- I developed alopecia – another reaction to unacknowledged stress. Three times over the course of four-ish years, chunks of hair would randomly fall out.
After all of these experiences, it finally clicked:
➡️ When I’m out of touch with my SELF – and my intuition – my body speaks up to get my attention.
If you’ve spent a lifetime doing what you think you should do, you’ve spent a lifetime silencing your own inner compass – your intuition.
Knowing what you really want in life, both the small things and the big things, can be very difficult. And you DO know, on some level (always), but recognizing and admitting it to yourself can be even harder.
It doesn’t have to feel so difficult.
This is the power of embodiment practices, like physical movement, meditation, or intentional self-portrait photography.
Practices that bring you into your body help heighten your present-moment awareness.
That means you’re present with and totally aware of the physical/human expression of your SELF in this moment.
That awareness is everything.
Becoming comfortable and familiar with your Self – becoming more AWARE of yourself – is how you cultivate your intuition.
And that’s how you know if something is for you or not.
Become more aware of my own Self is how I learned to recognize what was really for me, and what I was choosing because it seemed logical or “right” in the moment.
After I started taking self-portraits in 2020, I’ve become so much more aware of my wants, curiosities, boundaries, and needs. I’ve become so tapped into the feelings and whispers pointing me towards my next move. I’m more in touch with my own intuition.
I trust myself.
Are you listening to your body? Are you aware of what your inner guidance system is telling you?
If you need some guidance on getting reacquainted with your Self, my course will take you through the self-portrait practice that has helped me cultivate my own intuition and self-awareness.
Brilliant article—interesting read with practical tips.